Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Rubens' Pale-Skinned Paintings Starve African Smurfs

Samson and Delilah found here where page-bottom link to Religious Themes page 4 will link to the referenced Massacre of the Innocents.

1) Lamb and Lynx are a lot like the Olsen Twins, but more overtly happy to be white. (Tx, Bummer Girls.) Honestly, as long as they're not advocating violence or breaking the law, I don't really have a problem with their existence, even if the message blows. Still, I doubt there's huge growth in this niche of the population or marketplace. I prefer to marginalize domestic supremacist movements by ignoring them or being amused. However, if one becomes unlawful in its infringement of other citizens' rights, bring the ACME moron hammer down!

2) If you haven't heard about Unicef's new Smurficidal commercials to get us to understand the plight of children in war-torn lands, read this funny Steyn article. Many Smurf haters are happy to see the little blue bastards finally getting what they deserve and Gargamel triumphing the way Wile E. Coyote was never allowed.

3) South Africa seems poised to make the same kind of disastrous, famine-inducing land redistribution as ruined Zimbabwe's agricultural capacity. Free registration. (Tx, Scrivener.)

4) Is Rubens as dirty as all that? The image above is dissected in this spicy article by Waldemar Januszczak which I found through Arts & Letters Daily. What say you? Vicarious, violent filth or zaftig fantasy? Does it depend on the day and your mood?

Monday, October 24, 2005

Artsy Bookery and Bloggadociousness


Today, I might be considered all erudite and crap. That is, if you agree that comic in strips and bound formats- (ahem) graphic novels- have lasting value. Otherwise, it's the book notes that'll have to save me.

1) Today in 1897 a comic strip, The Yellow Kid, first appeared in the Sunday color supplement of the New York Journal. Although Richard Outcault's strip had its debut in 1895, becoming widely popular and boosting newspaper readership, this day remains special for birthing the Sunday funnies. Collector and merchant Stan Tychinski gives more history, and explains how a collection of the Kid's strips, published in book form by the NYJ, argues for its place as the first successful graphic novel.

2) I have posted on how the prolific James Patterson has used "collaborators", ditto Tom Clancy, but I don't think I ever substantiated this slightly less-than-open but hardly unknown secret. Forbes does the down and dirties.

Ed. NOTE: I'd like to mention that making the preceding, tiny entry would have been much easier if the ragglefraggle Blogger search tool worked at all. When I search my own blog for topics and text strings I know I've written, it never finds them. When I search all of Blogspot, I have to wade through pages of spamblog entries. FIX THIS, Blogger! Please! Make it more than a frustrating placeholder on the top border hinting at functionality it won't deliver. I'm still using Technorati and Google just to find myself- no theraputic sense implied. Make me a better offer.

3) Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Watterson is still keeping a low profile and doing his own thang, a decade after finishing a decade of his beloved strip. Would you have the strength or even the desire to walk away from something that was so popular, even if you felt the quality and your satisfaction would diminish with time? Would your agent threaten hara-kiri?

Audiences always want the trick pony to keep performing the trick they love, and resist the evolution of artists into new territory, though the trick they adore was once a novelty, too. Having said that, plenty of people (the kind with entourages) shouldn't try to evolute as artists, they don't have enough of the primordial creative goo inside to sprout new gills or trotters. These type should stick to doing their one trick well, professionally, and without extraneous media coverage.

Still, for those who are gifted enough to create meaningful work in a variety of genres or media that daringly occupy different shelves in the store, proving it requires overcoming a lot of commercial resistance or simply dropping out of the argument.

4) This is a believable though depressing NYT article detailing the discouraging journey of a new author after publication. I frequent author events and read up on the subject of publishing as if either could help the writing which is my true face and sales offering to the world. As I thus avoid work, I experience many thoughtful veterans armoring we pre-published novices with ugly truth. Of these bummers I hear so much I could really use a little sunny- even if slightly fraudulent- optimism. Subscribing to Publisher's Marketplace, I read about tankerloads of deals and none of them are mine. But Elizabeth Royte wants me to know that such an ardently desired announcement will be no cause for celebration, since it will most likely only lead to greater miseries and an acting out of neuroses on a grander scale. I'm sure the authors she quotes are being candid, but I don't require any more portrayals of my chosen career (oh, how I wish someone else would choose that I pursue it) as an ever-darkening vale of tearful rejection for the angst-ridden and sensitive literati.

Among the bright and talented writers I meet, most are not Rowling-rich, but I haven't met any who were literally starving. When the group gripes, justified by facts I'm sure, bust out over Chianti, it makes me wonder whether anyone likes the job or whether the gloom is just an artifact of the "catastrophic mind". Isn't anyone so grateful for it that they wrest some pleasures from book tours and signings? Isn't anyone mostly humbled and delighted to meet someone charitable or adventurous enough to allow an author's invention to take residence in his mind for hours and perhaps for life? For those with stars in your eyes about the business of writing, read and learn. For those already pounded thin by relentless realism, don't bother. Just want less, expect disgust and despair, wallow and repeat. That is the way toward authentic art, right?

5) Dr. Sanity pointed me to this fun calculator that she was referred to in the big, bloggy telephone game. It uses an algorithm established for the AOL acquisition of Weblogs Inc. to determine the dollar value of a blog.

I was surprised that this site is worth about $5600 if someone wanted to buy it. Of course, the market for low-obstacle-to-entry ventures like this is as saggy as a Victorian dowager. But to me, dear readers, understand that your time and attention remain pearls beyond price.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Swallows Leave Capistrano

Image from Marinarena's travel page.

Today is the feast day of San Juan, the day that the swallows of San Juan Capistrano leave the mission on their 7,500 mile, month-long migration to Goya, Argentina for the winter.

The bands of swallows fueling for flight are calorie vaccuums, consuming up to 1,000 insects daily and providing an enormous insecticidal fleet. At dawn of February 18th next year, they will leave Goya, returning en masse to Capistrano on March 19th as they do annually and have since the Cenozoic Age, a couple of million years ago.

Read here about the sister cities and about the amazing travel of the swallows from an Argentine scientist. I love cyclically recurrent natural spectacles like this one, and hope someday to see it in person.

However, if you're looking for something more emblematic of the thinning of the veil between the material and spirit worlds at this time of year, you can still just make Carlsbad- this I've seen- and witness the pre-migratory flapping of hundreds of thousands of free-tail bats.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Criminal Snowflea Tells Cops He Couldn't Freeze


See item one for image source with active clickables.

I'm hungry, but I'm not going to eat until I post this, so you can bet it'll be more rushed and ramshacklier than ever.

1) Tied to our season's Halloween/Death theme, here's a link to a nice round up of Dia de los Muertos items from what claims to be Arizona's home page, but looks to be a partnership of local newspapers and a television station. As I've mentioned before, I love this celebration's associated artwork and sweets and parades and hoopla. I'm a big fan of celebrating life by shaking the bone rattles. Linked to the image above is information about what items go into composing your own traditional or modern altar for el Dia. I like the traditional better. The modern reminds me too much of a curbside shrine for a thuggy skeezer.

2) In a follow-up to my recent list of outlandish plots gleaned from true life, a suspect has been arrested for killing the wife of the attorney currently defending a woman accused of killing her husband. Say that ten times fast. The suspect is allegedly a stoner con man turned entrepreneur who'd ordered some hydroponic growing equipment to start his weed empire. For some reason, Hempy McTrump became convinced -paranoia perhaps?- that the materials had been delivered to the trailer where the lawyer and his wife were living during the building of their new home. And apparently, allegedly, when the wife said uh-uh can't help you, he may have disbelieved her or just disliked her and beat her to death with a nearby piece of crown molding. The story is growing weirder and sadder as it goes, although for my part, I consider teen fascination with the occult as a pretty typical path for disaffected youth and not a necessary or even common gateway to fraud and murder.

3) Potential victim foils carjacker with hot coffee, and it gets more Apple Dumpling Gang from there.

4) And we finally break from death and true life crime to discuss the amazing wingless snowflea who manufactures his own antifreeze. Scientists hope someday to emulate it for use for organ transplants and even agriculture.

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Greatest Crime Series Never Written (yet)

..is one I just read in a WaPo article by Del Quentin Wilbur that I liked so well I'm regurgitating his byline. His subject is the D.C. natural death squad.

These are former homicide detectives who investigate what look like natural or self-induced deaths after ruling out criminal cause. It seems they primarily work with people who've died in their homes. Now, I am laden, practically encrusted, with disparate story ideas I'm trying to sculpt into usable plots, but these people are begging to have a book written about them. Look at them, for heaven's sakes! I know they've been posed for this picture, but this is how they dress. Even though I understand they're real people doing a very difficult job, I'm abstractly in love with the concept behind it and how they're different from the detectives we're used to reading about.

What's so compelling about them to a crime-focused fabulist, you ask? Look at them again! And they're stationed in the urban, criminal paradise of Washington D.C. I intend no offense to the residents or law enforcement authorities, but the capitol's long been a fertile producer of crimes both actual and fictional. Here are some of the other factors I found both heroic and provocative:

They deal with the grimmest realities of odor and decomposition and see more bodies, by far, than any other squad. This must exact a physical as well as mental toll. Tied to the numbers involved, they deal with a lot of suicides, and do a ton of family notifications- I would bet this number is also higher than any other squad. This must require reserves of strength and human compassion as well as excellent coping skills to stay sane and grounded.

They're never in a hurry, since the people they serve are already gone and not by foul play. What happens to the pace and procedure if and when they discover, as these former homicide detectives are well qualified to determine, that a crime was involved? The hours are known to be far more reasonable and regular than the homicide detail, and the pace is slower. Plenty of time, I'd think, for a different feeling police drama to unfold.

Cheap cigars, though not necessarily cigar smoking, are an essential tool of the trade. Even the lady detective lights up on site to combat the smells. One detective tucks the snuffed stogie behind his ear as he finishes his tour of the house. I love the images and physicalization tied to this detail.

As often as we see TV detectives developing detailed biographies of murder victims, the natural squad detectives really must wade through the detritus of people's personal lives when they're trying to determine how and when they died. Since they are frequently coming into residences unrestricted by living residents, I'm sure they must search through more homes and possessions than lots of detectives do who would need specific warrants from a judge just to get inside. Simply for notification purposes and to rule out crime, these detectives must get into the cupboards and closets trying to establish identity and often state of mind. Note how one squad member removes the jewelry from a deceased woman and gives it to her family member in order to spare her having to reclaim it from the coroner who might use rougher methods to reclaim the rings. Ranging free in people's unprotected homes requires impeccable honor be a key attribute for squad members. This is a position where someone greedy and unscrupulous could clean a place out or pick up a variety of trinkets before the heirs even knew about the death. This offers an unusual plot device, possibility for discoveries, and promotes a special kind of character underpinning.

This situation is dense with human drama and chances to examine things like family malfeasance or neglect as well as family solidarity. There's isolation, greed, the stress of bearing bad news, battle fatigue, the discoveries of oddities which were private in life. While a death itself may be no crime technically, I can envision lots of other crimes that could be related to or resulting from this kind of death. I shouldn't be happy about that, but from a production standpoint, it is important that an idea has legs.

That's enough, I'm sure, perhaps more than you wanted to know. If you're not a writer, but care at all about the process- and I don't know why you should- I can't speak for anyone else, but this is how my story ideas take root and grow branches. To me, a great premise is one that offers an assumed probability of character development (the options for which are as old as time) and plot complications which are inherently, even uniquely plausible under circumstances that make a story feel fresh and specific.

So there! Thank you, detectives, for sharing your unique careers. And somebody who's a better writer than I had better get on this one, or I'll have to tackle it myself and wreck its great, glowing potential.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Vigoda Would Want You to Read This Mess

See item 6 for image source. No, I checked. He's not dead yet.

Today's an incoherent hash of the whimsical and heartbreaking, but I'm finally extruding the last steaming heap of my collected links. Whew. Tomorrow, I'll have to have bagged fresh prey to have anything to offer.

1) Color me Debbie Downer for these Africa links aplenty. But everyday is a good time to wish the shortest future reign for Mugabe, the Butcher of Harare , who dares to attend the UN summit and blame the West for all his problems after single-handedly creating starvation conditions for thousands, if not millions, of his own people. Unemployment in Zimbabwe today: 70%. Tim Worstall quotes liberally from Nicholas Kristof about the sad state of agriculture in Niger as international relief merely provides stale tins of sardines instead of stocking the rivers, so to speak. The Nation's Andrew Rice reviews new books that pose competing theories about why Africa is still poor. Of course, Botswana, one of his cited successes, is now forcing Bushmen from their homes according to the WaPo.

2) The Anchoress, who still loves her some All Hallows' fun despite the killjoys, referred me to this supersized Halloween Etymology Carnival at Done With Mirrors. Read about the origins of our nomenclature for the spookyriffic.

3) I always know a sliver of what's hip, but never all of it. Perhaps there's too much to keep up with anymore since the internet has made every grimy cranny of interest into a legit niche with fan base and forums and T-shirts at CafePress. Anyway, Gaping Void is, among the many I've surely missed, a wildly popular blog that all the kids have been reading since forever, and I've just gotten to it. I first looked at the English Cut, an associated blog, maybe half a year ago and loved it, but I somehow missed finding GV. Of course, where one is about the painstaking tailoring of men's bespoke suits, the former is roughly about marketing creativity in the emerging electronic world and cartooning on the back of business cards. Both blogs are excellent scratchposts depending on where you itch. Here then are Hugh MacLeod's profound Rules of How to Be Creative. , an essential read for anyone who works in a creative, self-directed enterprise.

4) Doug TenNapel, the comic artist who did Earthboy Jacobus and the Nick series Catscratch, strips success down to only three rules for one eager fan.

5) Sometimes Lileks sings my soul, as when he vaunted this dream machine of a coupe which is unfortunately named the Efijy [sic- sick] and will supposedly run at the speed of a slippery superjet on a Corvette chassis. I must blot the drool from the corners of my mouth.

6) When Louis Nye died, I realized that all these kinds of people, and you'll know what I mean when you cross reference this site to celebrity obits, are represented by the same agent! It's a crazy crock pot of TV stars, many from the same show. Better for theme party bookings, I guess. But Jill Whelan, Charo, Gary Burghoff, and Shields & Yarnell?! If Bob Denver and Nye are just the beginning of a plot to increase the marketability of the rest, who will fall next? Protect my Vigoda and Knotts, I beg of you!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Leeches, Spiders, Snails, and Sponges

He came from here and belongs to Arthropoda.

Okay, I hoped it would seem I was covering new topic areas, instead of piling more onto my recent posts about fear and brains, brains, brains, not to mention my ubiquitous, scrivenocentric items. So, today I'm listing by alphabetized phylum for variety's sake and to avoid confusion with the embedded, numbered list.

Phylum Annelida: Another voice asking for calm in the face of the pandemic possibilities.

Phylum Arthropoda: Women can read road maps, as long as Aunt Flo is also a passenger. More from the wacky world of hormonal brain alteration.

Phylum Mollusca: If you're a writer parched of ideas for crazy plot twists, take these true-life, tragic amazements of the unfortunate and iniquitous for inspiration. However, be warned that some might argue these stories are too outrageous to sell as fiction.

- Indian man with epilepsy spends 54 years institutionalized as insane.

- Gamine woman in pink, child-sized clothes with a happy-faced flower tattoo (perhaps a Daisy?) is beaten to death and left near the entrance to Lands End, the historic residence and likely real-life inspiration for the setting of Fitzgerald's Great Gatsby.

- 8 year-old boy lifts a stash of weed from his stoned Uncle Albert to show off to his classmates on a field trip to the Natural History Museum. We're so sorry...

- Jesuit priest accused of raping a Native Alaskan woman resulting in a bastard son. Twice.

-California Judge declares mistrial for woman accused of murdering her psychiatrist husband after her defense attorney's wife is murdered.


Phylum Porifera: According to Agent Kate, here are some plot starters she wishes never to receive:

1. Hurricane Katrina. Sorry Folks. Not Yet. The only good 9/11 books didn't come out until this year. Give it time.
2. Grieving spouses. Yes, I am a heartless bitch.
3. Paranormal Romance. You won't BELIEVE how many queries I get containing these two words a week.
4. Religious Conspiracy. The Da Vinci Code is so over.
5. Any detective formerly or currently working for the FBI, CIA, local, regional, or federal police, or in private practice. Why can't normal people solve murders? Butchers. More butchers should solve murders. Just think of the suspense.
6. Any work of fiction or non-fiction primarily written in letter form.
7. Fiction with a billion different narrators. Pick one and commit, people.Please take note.

I had to laugh and sigh, because the short story I'm working on contains three of these defects, one of which is a requirement for the anthology. I still think it could be darned fine, my best yet even. Thanks to the Grumpy Old Bookman for referring me, and read his post's comment by Francis Ellen for an embittered writer's bite back.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Fraudulent Review of KGB Killer Inflames Elephant Appetites

See item 7 for image explanation and attribution.

Sometimes things hang together and some days they all fall apart. Today is one of those where I'll offload without collation the collection of odd and interesting (to me) items I've accumulated.

1) In reviewing the book Slam Dunks and No-Brainers, P.J. O'Rourke demonstrates why a bad review by a good reviewer can be so much fun. I'd prefer to read less buttering and more well-deserved lambasting.

2) You may not be shocked by this, but lack of government transparency, interagency coordination, and the web-based technological sophistication a consumer would expect in buying a CD are all making it difficult to protect the vast mounds of Katrina cash from fraud.

3) If you're fascinated by espionage stories, here's a doozy about the KGB agent who infiltrated Latin America and became a coffee baron in Costa Rica during the Cold War. (ht: bccy blog) Okay, you'll have to register to read the article, which I hate doing. However, this registration isn't quite as intrusive as some, and I believe you'll have access to all these surfworthy publications in the network, which is good efficiency for one registration.

4) Some of the elephants at the damaged New Orleans Zoo are clearing fallen tree debris by eating it. What interested me most was:

Most of the zoo's residents and a dozen or so key staff members stayed put for Katrina. The caretakers hunkered down in the reptile house, a building designed to withstand a hurricane and serve as a shelter. Food for animals and humans alike had been stockpiled. "We have been planning for this for years," zoo spokeswoman Sarah Burnette said, adding that Audubon had picked up survival tips from the Miami zoo after Hurricane Andrew.

They did have a few casualties and the sea lions had to be moved because of their special environmental needs, but does it occur to you that the zoo handled its responsibilities for stewardship and planning better than a few others we might mention? And what about learning from Florida's experiences? How often have you read that? Bravo zookeepers!

5) Because I am- I don't know what I am- I took myself to see the new Wallace and Gromit movie a couple of days ago, and I really liked it. Not being a big W&G fan to date, I hadn't noticed before the fingerprints in the clay faces and forms before which were wonderful to see pop in and out during the stop motion. The whole thing was charming and beautifully realized. I am a fan of world creation as an art form, and this created a place I'd love to have tea, toast, and a salad of the local veggies. It also had some genuine pathos mixed in which I think all lasting and beloved "fairy tales" do. The fearful parts, not terribly frightening to an adult, were caused mainly by overreactions or misunderstandings by characters and coincidences of dark and weather, so I don't think the movie harbors any new bogeymen to linger under the bed, which is a skillful thing to manage in spooky storytelling for children.

So I was saddened to read on the Gray Monk's blog that the W&G warehouse including archives, models, and awards was destroyed by fire. He didn't post the news link, so here's one. From another story, Nick Park, who created the popular characters, says while the loss hurts, it "isn't a big deal" in comparison to recent natural disasters hitting the world.

6) I found this through Samatha Burns who found it through someone else in the viral way such things propogate. Anyway, she kills for revenge, while I discovered- no suprise, really- that I am an Assassin. Take the quiz and learn what kind of killer you are and see your own trading card of death if you're mature.

7) Another linky-daisy chain led me to Wendy McClure's Candyboots with her Weight Watchers recipe cards from the 1970's. If you loved Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Food, you'll love this.

Would you believe I've got more, Chief? But I'll stop here. Why should you have to carry all my garbage to the curb in one trip? The rest of the recycling can wait.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Gluttons for Punishment or Laughs?



Image from halloween-mask.com
I'm scared, and check out the corner devils. Remind you of anything? P.S. for some reason, my pics seem to be a little funky. I'll work on it.

For me, these items all knit together, especially after my previous fear post.

1) Scott Burgess' Daily Ablution blog, which I enjoy in its relentless vivisection of the Grauniad's (Guardian's) journalistic offerings, provides an examination of two recent "imminent apocalypse" type stories. One asserts, among other stretched-thin conclusions:

Almost daily, new evidence is emerging that progress can no longer be taken for granted, that a new Dark Age is lying in wait for ourselves and our children.

Well, best we smother them in their little beds then, isn't it, to save them the horror of reaching their own doomed maturities? Read Burgess' examination of the weakly supported, strongly arguable conclusions that humans have become less innovative since peaking in roughly 1873. Keep in mind, you'll have to disregard muscle cars and microsurgery, antibiotics and chemotherapy, supersonic jets and space travel, photocopiers, and cell phones, dammit, because we've lost the mojo.

What I find most fascinating is the bleakness of outlook from educated, middlish-class people in civilized societies who are today the beneficiaries of health, prosperity, productivity and conveniences which heretofore even emperors could not have commanded. The whole post is worth reading point by point as you see the lengths one must go to to turn ethical scientists stating findings carefully into shills for the adult diaper industry.

Another tidbit that jumped out at me was this scenario of the soon-to-arrive bitter end:

Famine and chaos increase in the poorest and most unprepared countries, killing thousands of people at first, then millions as infrastructures collapse and civil wars rage.

The Grauniad author may not be as educated as I credited, since this very scenario is happening in Africa as it sadly has for decades already. And most of what they require is an infusion of current, even slightly outmoded, agricultural and pest control technologies through uncorrupted governance and the thousands dying from famine and pestilence could be greatly relieved. Perhaps the journalist is suffering from "learned helplessness" where one fears attempting even what is possible.

2) However, to address that subject, we must turn to this lengthy, but highly readable and fascinating, article from the Times (ht: Arts & Letters Daily) on the still-emerging science of happiness. It discusses the definitions of happiness, its biochemical signatures, and how it may affect aging and health as well as the "hedonic treadmill" which allows us to become inured to the good and focus on the terrible instead. One explanation for this tendency is that our brains evolved during the challenges of the the Ice Age when humans survived while the mammoths and sabre-toothed cats perished.

Survival in a time of adversity forged our brains into a persistent mould. Professor Seligman says: "Because our brain evolved during a time of ice, flood and famine, we have a catastrophic brain. The way the brain works is looking for what's wrong. The problem is, that worked in the Pleistocene era. It favoured you, but it doesn't work in the modern world."

In fact, the article notes that of the six universal emotions, only one is positive. This may be analogous to our uneven sensations of heat and cold. We sense small drops in temperature faster than rises, because they're a greater physical danger to us. I recently also posted on gender-based brain differences. Combining some concepts from there with the ideas found here, we see that happiness seems to live in the pre-frontal cortex and left brain where creativity and abstract reasoning (dare we suggest innovation?) also seem to reside.

Perhaps happiness can activate the parts of the brain tied to creativity? I'm interested to see how the science develops. But I would posit, off my uneducated cuff, that a non-stressed, relaxed, detached (content?) state of mind- which so many athletes and artists report anecdotally as being integral to their moments of greatest achievement and inspiration- is a necessity for innovation. This all means, to me, that panic and marrow-melting terror about the future won't help us avoid the outcomes we fear. Only optimism, enthusiasm, and mental resilience will.

So I say it again: Have a laugh, you dour mf! There's a world to enjoy and to save!

3) On a smaller scale yet illustrative of the same points, an author previously known for his comic edge has created a pseudonym to write work to be taken more seriously and perhaps grab the serious cash and prizes. I read in Sarah Weinman's excellent blog Confessions of an Idiosyncratic Mind that Richard Hawke, whose Advanced Reader's Copy (ARC) of Speak of the Devil was stuffed in my Bouchercon goodie bag, is none other than Tim Cockey. Read the Publisher's Weekly review under the title for a laugh about the quality of this "first novel."

I loved Cockey's books about the Baltimore undertaker named Hitch with their horrible pun titles based on the word hearse. However, I saw him speak at Left Coast Crime (in 2003, I think), and he was on a humor panel with a few other authors who also weren't sure they were strictly comedic. I sensed their discomfort with the category and agreed it sold their books short. Ask "cozy" writers about that, too, if you want an earful. The Hitch books are funny, and while there are over-the-top characters, I also found them very smart and human and good for more than merely a laugh, in the verbage of those who so undervalue wit.

When Cockey changed his title theme from the hearse puns to Backstabber for the last Hitch book, I wondered if it was an attempt to get wider readership and exposure (noble aims both) by making the book's first impression grittier and letting the humor be a serendipitous discovery for readers. It's true that being thought of as comic is a harbinger of lesser regard by the professional marketplace and trickles down to fewer copies sold. This is not because the writing is easier done. I would argue it's tougher, especially since a key element of humor is surprise, and surprising a laugh from intelligent readers is tougher than finally manifesting a painful situation that you've been foreshadowing for hundreds of pages. However, if a book doesn't just contain humor but is seen as a "humor book", it is degraded in comparison to its bleaker cousins, just like brillant comedies that never win the Oscar. Perhaps this is the prejudicial wiring of our brains. I wish Richard Hawke much luck. I like what I've read so far.

At the moment, I'm working on a lighter, even frothy, piece and a much darker one, and find I require them to spell each other. Some of the darkest stuff I write, I don't know that I'd want to read, and I find it repellent and uncomfortable living within those people and situations while I'm doing it. But in my head, it's mostly the monstrous that shows up for inspiration roll call, so there I'm stuck. Meanwhile, my nightstand has room for all of it, and I plan in my personhood to skim ever more lightly-lightly into a robust old age.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Long Way to Go For a Halloween Scare


Company impends, so harried cleaning and showering are due, but here's a speed blurb if you haven't seen it about a man who died of a freak accident while getting a "Last Rites" devil's head tattoo. I'm guessing the picture is of the actual stencil that would have been applied to his arm to transfer the image for inking.

I don't mind the artwork actually, but the Halloween-spooky tie-in is too great to ignore. I'ts a shame that a young guy's early death is turning into a joke, but weird things like this beg the amused detachment of the ghoulish spectator.

It's worth registering if you can't see the whole NY Post story.

Later, ya'll

Friday, October 14, 2005

Let's talk fear.


Bowel-loosening, insomniac fear. In this longish but meaty piece in Spiked, Frank Furedi writes:

Fear is fast becoming a caricature of itself. It is no longer simply an emotion or a response to the perception of threat. It has become a cultural idiom through which we signal a sense of unease about our place in the world.

He goes on to discuss some of the ways through politics and the media that our unceasing doom-mongering has become a twisted version of the healthful fears that keep us alert and safer.

There is seldom a teaser for local news stories that doesn't hinge on impending catastrophe: for your children (the drum most often beat), for your health, for your job, for your salad bar. There is seemingly no topic that can merely intrigue or interest once passed through the Jabba-like script-excreter of TV news. "How.... can ruin your life- details at 11. "

I've always wondered why, if they're so urgently concerned for my fate as a viewer, why not just cut to the answer and concrete warning in the promo? "To save lives in the 3 hours before our broadcast, we must inform you this instant that climbing rickety water towers or eating sandwiches without cleaning your hands could kill you." Thanks, I'll keep it in mind. And on with life, which is by the way a dangerous enterprise from the first squirm and will finally pin you and me both in some tangle of wrassle-hold we can't escape.

I normally enjoy Charles Krauthammer as a writer and opiner, but when reading this story about the recreation of the Spanish flu, "an agent of near-biblical destruction," even the cool and clear-eyed may feel a little wobbly. As Furedi pointed out, it's good to go wobbly over some things, but I'd say especially those I can control like jumping out of the path of a speeding bus.

However, as we now genuinely live in times with capacities described previously in science fiction, and (re)creating monstrous biological horrors with "a risk 'verging on inevitability' of accidental release" is nigh, may I please ask everybody to COOL DOWN THE RHETORIC OF FRIGHT?

Humans can't survive any of these threats and/or innovate brilliant solutions to deal with them if we've all gone crazy as shithouse rats, afraid to drink the water, go outside, or breathe due to the exponential compounding of every possible splinter of risk into soul-crushing anxiety.

I feel myself developing panic fatigue from the peaking and troughing of my own fear response. If I let it, it will exhaust me to the brittleness of an old rubber band that can't snap back anymore and just plain snaps. Of course, my current disinclination toward and disaffection with the "ain't it awfuls" leads people to caution me that I'll subsequently become blase' in the face of REAL peril. But as I see it, every day Existence is balanced on the edge of a sheer cliff, and every day so far, has only wiggled its toes and laughed. So, I'm choosing to be informed if and when possible, to do what I can without having to make a tin hat, and trying to relax and crack a smile once in a while. Keep the Buddhas giggling for Crikey's sake!

Al Neuman image with interesting discussion of origin here. Ryan Gilbey 70's cinema book with better cover than current Amazon listing is reviewed here. I originally found the Gilbey reference at the blog Ushering in Banality , neglected since '03. The photos are great here, and if you read German, I bet you'll like it, too. Sadly, another webtique.

Update: Much after finishing this spasm of angst, I was rocked like Krakatoa to discover I was listed on Samantha Burns' random blogroll. Extra Fantastico, since her blog's cool and funny and more than several people actually read it. Although you, my loyal pal(s?) and reader(s?) will always be first in my affections, I wish for you the joys of increased compatriotism. Thanks, Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns! Now I'm going to have to add a blogroll.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Happy Confucius' Birthday! I'm a Dunce.


1) Today in Hong Kong, they celebrate what is, if this web site is correct, his 2557th bday. I took the opportunity to scan some of the verses there and found they included lots of talk about fitness for various positions of authority as well as serving one's parents and the perfect commonwealth state which startled me some. I confess I know little about Confucianism, and being ignorant, was unable to quickly locate something pithy and apt, although I did learn enough to realize I'd misunderstood it even in generalities. My quick looksee surprised me. What I may have misinterpreted read as harmonious concord with the principles of Communism. Conformance is revered, disorder hated, wealth disdained, "benevolence" vaunted. It reflects much municipal concern with a desire for absorption into some higher figure's principles be it father or lord. I think I'm more of a Lao-Tzu type myself.

Turning instead to a site about that sage who was a contemporary of Confucius, I read: "In him I have seen the dragon that rides on the cloudy air," replied Confucius. "My mouth fell open and I was unable to shut it... "... After another crushing visit he admitted: "In the knowledge of the Tao am I any better than a tiny creature in vinegar?" A final episode shows him becoming virtually a disciple of Lao Tzu. These accounts are, of course, Taoist propaganda. In reality Confucius would have regarded Lao Tzu as a dangerous threat to established custom and filial piety. The Tao te Ching contains not a single word about either of these central Confucian concepts. Indeed by stressing spontaneity and harmony with nature, it represents a rebellion against Confucian obsession with form and duty. But Taoism did alter the course of Confucianism, leading to the synthesis of neo-Confucianism in thinkers like Chang Tsai. It also moulded the shape of East Asian Buddhism, giving Buddhism a much less negative stance to the world.

Well, I might have been right with my kneejerk take on the big C, but nonetheless, I've learned what an idiot I am about Chinese history and philosophy. If I ever find myself subject to ennui and atrophy, please remind me how much territory in eons and miles there is yet for me to study.

2) Here's a Wired article about how people of both African and Native American descent, some raised within their tribes, are having trouble sharing in the casino earnings because of bad recordkeeping by lazy government employees (even in the golden past, such have existed). Judged by their skin color and facial structure, now these people fight for their identities based on DNA tests. Should proving your racial heritage be such a big deal in America? My previous thoughts on the execrable Native Hawaiian bill are here and here, because I couldn't help but wonder if this is the kind of thing what we want happening around the country with people of Hawaiian descent?

And that's all I've got time for. I'm on the run, again!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Gender differences: Too Scary?

Thanks, Amy & Alex.

Super Spooky topic for Halloween: May we admit without hyperventilation that women and men and other genetically distinct groups of people (such as different races) are actually unlike each other in certain ways? Ahhhhh, hide under the covers!

Charles Murray bravely wades into the deep water with his freebie essay in today's WSJ, extracted from a much longer, even more annotated piece in Commentary. What one discovers pushing through the data is that cognitive differences exist. It's true, breathe deeply, and scientists have understood it for years. But talk about a concept which dare not speak its name- as a modern social taboo, it's a biggie in a society that equates equality with sameness. And many are afraid that if we promulgate the truth, the feeble-minded will generalize as an excuse for specific predjudice. Well, they will. As they always have. Welcome to human nature, and what else is new? But fearing that morons who can't tell a standard deviation from a deviant will call names doesn't mean that those of us who can think clearly shouldn't do so. In order to encourage excellence and achievement, which should always be one of humanity's goals, we ought to understand them as they're most often manifested. Here, I'll focus on the largest terrifying divide, male and female.

Here's a truth you may not know. In general, women have more acute senses than men, better hearing, sight, smell, and taste (ha!). Women are more sensistive instruments for detecting the world around them in richness and subtlety. Since it's girl-powery, I find people rarely complain about that discriminatory set of facts, discriminating because they draw differences rather than pretend homogenity. So, why are not more women premier sommaliers, chefs, perfumers, jewelers, and designers, much less notably excelling in the fields of science in which heightened senses would be beneficial? Perhaps it is the cultural and biological bias against forgoing motherhood or being neglectful mothers. Perhaps it is, until recently, the lack of self-supporting careers for women or that women were not historically raised by families in these traditions as the inheritors of these positions, chosen to study or apprentice for them. Murray writes:

Thus, for reasons embedded in the biochemistry and neurophysiology of being female, many women with the cognitive skills for achievement at the highest level also have something else they want to do in life: have a baby. In the arts and sciences, 40 is the mean age at which peak accomplishment occurs, preceded by years of intense effort mastering the discipline in question. These are precisely the years during which most women must bear children if they are to bear them at all.

Among women who have become mothers, the possibilities for high-level accomplishment in the arts and sciences shrink because, for innate reasons, the distractions of parenthood are greater. To put it in a way that most readers with children will recognize, a father can go to work and forget about his children for the whole day. Hardly any mother can do this, no matter how good her day-care arrangement or full-time nanny may be. My point is not that women must choose between a career and children, but that accomplishment at the extremes commonly comes from a single-minded focus that leaves no room for anything but the task at hand. We should not be surprised or dismayed to find that motherhood reduces the proportion of highly talented young women who are willing to make that trade-off.


I would blame not only socially-encouraged career/vocation obsession for males but what I empirically observe as an inherent sort of male single-mindedness (perhaps due to their bias for using the left brain more) versus a native female capacity for multitasking (possibly related to their double-sided brain usage). An inborn, laserlike focus on a mental construct to the exclusion of all else is frequent and anecdotal in the biographies of noted male geniuses, and might be a necessary trait, in addition to cultural support for childlessness or surrogate child-raising, required for brilliant women to succeed in fields of abstract reasoning. Are people dropping dead over their laptops yet? No? Perhaps these ideas themselves aren't lethal.

Ask any "unenlightened" sort of parent whether their little daughters from birth didn't behave differently and exhibit different strengths than their little sons and the answer is not only clear, it provides an opportunity for cooing over snapshots. Broad differences (no pun intended) among general comparisons don't mean that any given individual can't excel in a particular way, so there's no reason for panic at mere acknowledgement of the obvious. I extract and rearrange liberally:

[On testosterone] But this is just one more of the ways in which science is demonstrating that men and women are really and truly different, a fact so obvious that only intellectuals could ever have thought otherwise...

The Orwellian disinformation about innate group differences is not wholly the media's fault. Many academics who are familiar with the state of knowledge are afraid to go on the record. Talking publicly can dry up research funding for senior professors and can cost assistant professors their jobs. But while the public's misconception is understandable, it is also getting in the way of clear thinking about American social policy...

One such premise is that the distribution of innate abilities and propensities is the same across different groups. The statistical tests for uncovering job discrimination assume that men are not innately different from women, blacks from whites, older people from younger people, homosexuals from heterosexuals, Latinos from Anglos, in ways that can legitimately affect employment decisions. Title IX of the Educational Amendments of 1972 assumes that women are no different from men in their attraction to sports. Affirmative action in all its forms assumes there are no innate differences between any of the groups it seeks to help and everyone else. The assumption of no innate differences among groups suffuses American social policy. That assumption is wrong...

Thus my modest recommendation, requiring no change in laws or regulations, just a little more gumption. Let us start talking about group differences openly--all sorts of group differences, from the visuospatial skills of men and women to the vivaciousness of Italians and Scots. Let us talk about the nature of the manly versus the womanly virtues. About differences between Russians and Chinese that might affect their adoption of capitalism. About differences between Arabs and Europeans that might affect the assimilation of Arab immigrants into European democracies. About differences between the poor and nonpoor that could inform policy for reducing poverty.

Even to begin listing the topics that could be enriched by an inquiry into the nature of group differences is to reveal how stifled today's conversation is. Besides liberating that conversation, an open and undefensive discussion would puncture the irrational fear of the male-female and black-white differences I have surveyed here. We would be free to talk about other sexual and racial differences as well, many of which favor women and blacks, and none of which is large enough to frighten anyone who looks at them dispassionately.


Let us, my brothers and sisters, be afraid of none of the contents of our heads, neither the matter nor the musings. Reason has been one of humanity's best friends, let's invite it to supper, it's been too long.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Overworked Muses Fuel Art and Misfires

Image from Iron Orchid's collection of web clip art.

1) Bad modern art? Isn't that almost redundant? You betcha. Australia is not immune. Here's the story of the latest Primavera showcase of works by artists under 35. The problem? Sebastian Smee (a fantastic monikker) says:

I desperately wanted to like this show, but I struggled to find a single work that lifted itself above the standard of competent but cloyingly over-determined Year12 art. It is the sort of work that is just one layer of superficial understanding laid on top of another, none of it relating internally or showing the least sign of deepening.

What is going on here? Reading the obligatory artists' statements in the catalogue is akin to scanning the eyes of an android for signs of personality. "The message I express through my paintings is that short-sighted political policies can be dangerous," says one. "My practice investigates mechanisms of fiction and reality through the mediums of performance, video, painting, installation and photography." "My practice illustrates a cultural past inside the global future."

Who are these artists ventriloquising? I know they are all under 35, but do they not think for themselves? Do they not have any sense of a deeper human complexity, of the whole, hair-raising human predicament? Perhaps they do, but it is nowhere articulated in their art.

Though the subject of the show is entirely painting, Smee indicates there is little artistic stretching either technically or thematically for the timeless versus the topical. There's my peeve in T's.

2) Is the way to make it as a writer to sign up for a new online system such as the Next Big Writer site, where you earn the right to have your work reviewed by reviewing others', and quarterly and annual prizes are awarded including publishing? There is also a membership fee required, which I suppose I understand for such a slick, professional site. Will this catapult someone's writing, giving them the market exposure they need? Will the people who could best sell or buy work have free access to the boards of hoards? Will the reviews offer the kind of critique that help someone get published?

I don't know, but I'll watch the progress with interest. I tend to find good writers' groups must achieve a certain alchemy and not all attempts succeed. In my experience, it's more a matter of temperament and intent for the progress of the work than a matter of style matching. Further, I think discussions about what other group members are trying to do within their own projects and each one's strengths and weaknesses as a reader help create a more fruitful conversation. For example, I have readers who are obsessed with text at the word level while others focus on overarching story structure. I get different, useful things from each, and I don't know if I'd understand what they offer so well if we didn't take the chance to sit and talk a bit.

3) Here's another story from the NYT about a possible path to success: pay to share workspace with other writers, maybe network by the microwave. I felt a keen pang when I read about the guy who just sold his novel to Random House. I'm sure it's good and that he worked diligently on it for a long time, but I'm waiting for an agent to get back to me on my manuscript, and it's making me unattractively sensitive to other people's progress.

On the upside, I was quite worried about a dearth of story ideas about a month ago. I now have three fresh, completely disparate ideas in development, generating actual squiggles on pages, as well as another three that I thought I'd be writing by now but which are not baked enough yet. I don't know if any of them will be good enough when finished that I'll ever see them published, or how I'll ever promote a career based on such a mixed bag of work. Sometimes, I'm especially aware of what a silly vocation this is. How almost useless. Yet and still...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Radical Looks and Gayrods. Happy Friday!



These pictures are all from a Hummer forum (say no more), and I like to think exhibit my point about Item 1. The two guys are Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who? Zack!) from Saved by the Bell as well as photoshopped Estrada and Hasselhoff.

I comb through so many blogs and articles for the flotsam that composes my aesthetic collage. I do it to spare you having to wade through all the dreck that I subject myself to just to harvest the juicy, squirming bits. My blogging cycle is accumulate, coagulate, disseminate, do it again.
And here it is. Happy Friday!

1) I suppose I should admit now that I read more than a bit of children's/young adult fiction when I think it follows a conceit I'll enjoy. And I think there's a lot of creativity happening in that realm of fiction right now as many "adult" authors put their noses to it. I like the anything-goes looseness of plot movements in younger-targeted fiction and the operating basis of optimism, especially when I need a break from the dark and bleak stuff I read as well.

Anyhoo, getting the bookish item out of the way, G.P. Taylor is an Anglican priest who wrote the children's book Shadowmancer, which I didn't mind, although I didn't adore it as I'd hoped. I learned via mediabistro that Taylor got himself tossed from a school appearance for saying Harry Potter wasn't the only "gay in the village", a reference to Welshman Dafydd, a recurring character on the hilarious comedy show Little Britain which even Yankees can watch on BBCAmerica. I laughed when I read what Taylor said, especially when I thought of the junior-high schoolers reaction to it. He was obviously playing to the crowd, and I thought it sounded more crude and juvenile than judgmental, like calling your friend a "retard". It does, however, bely the image of all Christians as milquetoast vapor queens reaching for their smelling salts as the first four-letter word. Besides, what else do you expect from a former roadie for the Sex Pistols?

2) I don't usually get such items from NRO, but here's the new, for-real, My Scene Bling Bling Barbie. Back in Chicago, I used to frequent a cheap industrial building under the Lake Street El tracks near the Fulton Street Fish Market. It was the kind of place too smelly, decrepit, and dangerous to rent to anyone but bands in need of practice space. In addition to broke and substance-abusing musicians and criminal vagrants, there were usually a few crack whores loitering around, looking to service patrons on their way to and from basketball and hockey games. This toy really takes me back. Now, where's the black Ken doll in the Oldsmobile Calais?

3) In another surprise, I got this fashion tidbit from Michelle Malkin about the new line from French (naturellement) Anticon's new line of Terror Chic. As a person who spent a youthful phase outfitted like a shoplifter as a fashion statement, I can attest that being followed everywhere by security is at the minimum annoying, especially if there's no real threat. I can further say that I believe these outfits will get one noticed on the subway, at the ATM, in the grocery, church, etc. I doubt you'd be ignored anywhere you showed up, and you might get to see a nice array of munitions and baseball bats. However, I would suggest to parents that bankrolling this fashion initiative for your disappointing offspring could end up in a wrongful death lawsuit that will support you in your golden years far better than a no-account loser.

4) It's true, confirms the Straight Dope, the CLOSE DOOR buttons on the majority of elevators don't do anything. Tell your jittery acquaintances.

5) As I first read in Althouse, schoolgirls in Togo may have to get their heads shaved for school. I was ready to go into full snit until I read the comments section. It's not really a cueball situation so much as a short "natural" which I've found an attractive look since the seventies when it was more popular here. And not only is this requirement common in other African countries, the boys must have short hair, too. Then, when I read about girls skipping school to spend the day in the salon, well, they started to win me over. Get thee to the schoolery ye wanton-haired hussies and larn thee some items for deliverance from endemic poverty and underutilization thine vain and short-sighted Jezebels!

6) Thanks to Drawn! for pointing me to the Hotel Fox in Copenhagen where 21 artists have created 61 rooms as part of Volkswagen's launch of the new Fox. I dislike that the home page calls the designs "whacky" not "wacky", but there is a lot to look at and the room pictures are grouped from X-large on down. It's interesting how many of the artists work with white as the core color as it reflects their backgrounds in 2-D on white paper. Many of the rooms don't look uber-restful, like the one whose bed faces a sort of bog troll topped by the command to SLEEP!, but I liked many of them. I thought Harmony's Helm, looking like a tiled Swedish flag with a golden bull head seemed kind of serene.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

More Books, Authors, Morons, and Me

Check Item 4 for image link.

1) Let's get the hottest potato tossed early. So, an imam in Spain wrote a book on how to beat your wife without leaving marks called Women in Islam. For inciting violence against women, (apparently the publishing arm is immune from punishment for disseminating such unlawful incitements) he's been condemned to study the Spanish Constitution, learning that might absorb better methinks if he added the kinesthetic element of education, reciting the articles as he breaks rocks for the next six months. The book in question was published nearly four years ago, so naturally, the next queries must be: Multiple printings? What kind of sales we talking? Are foreign rights still available?

2) Ruth Rendell, whom I missed in her appearance here at Partners In Crime bookstore- next year I will plan better for book release season- is a prolific and talented writer. You could (and likely do) read far worse crime fiction, and in fact, craftwise, hers stands up quite a bit taller than much of the so-called literary fiction. So why the unending snobbery? I dunno. Here's more about her in the NYT.

3) Due to the picture of her allegedly snorting cocaine, Kate Moss has already lost the majority and will perhaps lose all of her modeling/endorsement contracts. Now, she may face arrest upon returning to the UK after her rehab stint in Arizona. Dear friend Sadie Frost reportedly "breaks her silence" with lukewarm platitudes, but some say she's going through her own battle with alcohol anyway. But Kate's defense gets sadder still. Sharon Stone has become her champion, scorning Moss' former employers for not allowing her "to fail, to grow."

Stone seems to misunderstand the purpose of endorsement. It is to maintain or elevate the esteem of the brand through association with those possessed of sympathetic characteristics like beauty, athleticism, wealth. And although models are expected to look as if they have drug habits, it's just too gauche to confirm it outright, and a foolish way to imperil a multi-million dollar career. Shall we sue Burberry for not wanting to oblige Moss' decay by adopting the image of being the fashion house for stupid junkies? It's typical that a Hollywood actor believes "personal growth" is a corporate responsibility and not the employee's own vested interest. If I ever get in serious trouble, send me the lawyers, guns, and money. And slap Sharon Stone with a gag order.

4) The clock is ticking for the beginning of Nanowrimo, pronounced Na-No-RYE-Mo. This spectacular undertaking is National Novel Writing Month, the free, online event where you can pledge to write 50,000 words of a new novel during the month of November. There are online tools to help you track your progress and calculate what's left by daily quota. Message boards connect people by genre and locality, and many metropolitan areas have Municipal Liaisons who organize kick-off parties, progress gatherings, and write-ins if you're interested. The boards are so fully fledged and frequently posted, you may spend your month whining in chorus rather than writing if you like. There are ways to search for other participants who have the same author influences or prefer the same music while writing. There is a large contingent of younger writers, and a separate section for those participating as part of a school project, but there are also plenty of crusty oldsters like me. Nanowrimo takes a lonely, self-directed activity and gives it a sense of urgency and excitement while making it social and interactive to whatever degree you wish. I participated for the first time last year, and although I didn't "win", and most other participants didn't either (haughty sniff), I did write around 30,000 words which was a terrific quantity for me and became usable text in the manuscript I just finished.

Happily, two members of my writers' group here in New York have pledged to participate this year, so we can suffer through the production demands together. I've heard other writers accuse it of gimmickry and being unnecessary for a truly motivated author. Well, I like the communal atmosphere and enthusiasm that relieves the usual solitude. Further, since I revise as I go, I benefit from the experience of having to blaze onward without looking back. Gimmick? Yes. Fun and constructive? Also Yes. And I like the T-shirts, too. I hope I will manage to post my progress on this blog as well as the Nanowrimo boards. If I succeed, there will be many rambling odes to caffeine and inappropriate, but densely textual, dream sequences.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Branded Bookish

This is the cover of Evan Morris' book on the surprises behind
famous brands. Morris is also notably the estimable Word Detective.

Another late post, but not as late as yesterday's. Will it be worth the wait? I'd be a fool to think so.

Here's a two-fer from the Grumpy Old Bookman in case you don't read him daily- shame on you. This is about the travails of a small publisher trying to find a good novel among thousands of author-submitted manuscripts. And as I was retrieving that link, I saw he'd posted today about one of my most favorite authors, Terry Pratchett, as readers may know from here and here. His latest book, Thud!, has been reviewed by Donald Westlake, another author in my top handful of favorites. As GOB opined, "this is an inspired piece of review commissioning." Color me porcine and slop-covered.

UPDATE: Now I've read the review, I totally agree with Westlake, who writes series of his own, and eerily echoes what Pratchett himself said at his NYC signing at B&N. He said (in loose paraphrase) that he was looking at the end of new Discworld books and is being challenged to think beyond that creation, because it's gotten too full to leave enough creative elbow room anymore.

So, now you're thinking I'm just regurgitating bookish items today, but no, here is my original contribution.

Let's open with the caveat that I am not an enormous fan of James Patterson and what used to be his fifty invisible book brownies. I find his best set-ups overpromise the middles and especially the ends, but I have enjoyed some of them. Also, it's unlikely I can hurt Patterson et al's feelings, and since he's (they've) reached a level of commercial success of which one as lowly as myself can only dream, he's (they're) ripe for critique. Therefore, I must complain that he (and one now overtly-named collaborator Howard Roughan) dropped product brands and other names without explication into nigh every chapter of Honeymoon. It needled me for several reasons:

1) It makes this reader wonder if it's an attempt to write off luxury goods as business expenses or to solicit freebies.

2) It guarantees the text will age badly. Ever listen to people from generations on either side of yours wax rhapsodic, without explanation, over consumer goods you've never heard of? Interesting? Not usually.

3) If you're not in the know about a contemporary but obscure reference- am I expected to catalog Connecticut's antique merchants or Cinncinnati's ice cream purveyors?- it conveys worse than nothing in that it actually wastes the reader's time with text that doesn't serve the story.

4) Even where I know the brands and references, I find it an inexcusably lazy form of characterization for a novelist. If a foundling's name is Glad, you can tell me he was abandoned in a trash bag, but use proper noun shorthand for effect and sparingly. Only the chronically insipid system of Hollywood describes people like "Mercedes Benz meets Pabst Blue Ribbon".

Oh, but how bad could it have really been, you ask? How egregious? Chapter 2 of Honeymoon is typically tiny. (Don't even get me started on how I feel about books like this with 117 numbered chapters in fewer than 400 pages when many times there's no setting, interval, or POV break as an excuse.) In this dainty 3-page demichapter, 25 brand names dapple the text like pigeon droppings. Here they are, and I'm including localities and famous figures as brands where they're used as descriptive shorthand.

Briarcliff Manor
Westchester
Eleish-Van Breems
New Canaan Antiques
the Silk Purse
the Cellar
Monet
Hudson River School
Thomas Cole
Magritte
George III
J.P. Morgan
Castro
Richard Nixon
New York School of Interior Design
Le Cordon Bleu
Dockers
Polo
Back Bay
Amstel Light
Evian
Smith and Wollensky
Graeter's
Tiffany
Dom Perignon '85
Jack Daniel's

You can practically smell the quality of the prose that would enrobe such a combination. Yeesh.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Technology meets Space in the X-500


I am nothing without Ephemera Now. Check the dastardly, bastardly ecstasy on this kid's face!

I'm posting so late that I wonder if I should bother, but I've been breakin' my back with actual physical labor today. Still, I cannot cheat you of what little toe knuckles of delight I might share.

1) The Google continues its lust for influence by offering free wi-fi to the entire city of San Fran.

2) I have a dear friend- you know who you are- who's been asserting for years that solar phenomena are a huge cause of global warming, moreso than human activity. Here's an article that says they could conservatively be affecting cyclical climate by up to a third.

I've got something entirely different combined with my own original content (gasp) for tomorrow. Sleep sweetly.

Monday, October 03, 2005

It's the Future, Baby, Ready or Not.

Image from a BBCish version of Wiki, h2g2.

Today, I have a lot of collected flotsam to share and a couple shout-outs (hi-hos, big ups, yodelayheehoos) for which I'm grateful.

Thanks, Dr. Sanity, for yesterday's listing in the Carnival of the Insanities.
Thanks, J.D., for today's listing in the Carnival of the Capitalists.

1) I'm still poring through the capitalist goodies, but there was one insanity item that probably rightly belongs in both, a story of human nature misunderstood, an inexcusable failing for a politician whose only demonstrated skill at election is voicing what most people want to hear.

Remember Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide that says Don't Panic in friendly words on the cover, the phrase guaranteed in any serious situation to make you soil yourself in anxiousness? Here's an example from Multiple Mentality about Georgia's governor absolutely positively helping people not to worry about gas supply by telling them all the emergency arrangements to make and proposing school closures (brilliant idea!) to avoid shortages. Result? Oh, you can guess, can't you? As I understand it, most factory workers and hair stylists, doctors and nurses, cooks and store clerks, policemen and firemen, hotel staff and mechanics, florists and shippers (among others) can't telecommute as an option.

2) In a follow up to my post for the Capitalists, Yahoo! has announced its answering salvo to Google's Print Initiative. The Y is working in a consortium called the Open Content Alliance. The difference here is that Yahoo! and its powerful partners are issuing a call for participation, and they will include an author if he or a representative of his work, like the publisher, opts in. Google assumes inclusion unless one opts out which is part of what's causing the kerfuffle.

While the legal organs of authors like this Yahoo! approach, and the article I linked to has positive librarian reaction, I must say that if the Google initiative is allowed to go forward, it has the potential to build an ultimately more useful library if legitimate, deep research is the goal. Yahoo! is vetting their contents and I assume will build a feature-rich and lovely collection of the accepted and acclaimed masterworks in every field. But that's not really where all the great nuggets for future thinkers are buried. Untested hypotheses and unpublicized work, the dusty tomes of little-read journals keep providing, in the context of modern research, inspirations that feed new perspectives. Ideas that were only half-baked, but are now forgotten by heirs and obsolete publishers alike are the planks upon which theses are built. Within the forgotten and barely trafficked (which certainly won't be attentively opted in) are many of the things that scholars adore and find essential about traditional libraries and specialized collections of very, very dead trees.

3) Savvy iPod owner William Bright starts formatting subway maps for free use by other such-equipped commuters at http://www.ipodsubwaymaps.com/. Some transit authorities are so afraid we'll be confused if the maps aren't up-to-the-moment accurate- and of course they've licensed their images for all the graphically subway-related gear we'll all want to purchase- that they've filed the dreaded cease-and-desist. Oh, we modern types haven't learned to cope with the fact that Yahoo! and Mapquest and GPS directions are sometimes not current or incorrect (don't they display accidents and construction projects!?- I confused! Cannot...follow...signs) Some of these bureaus inform us that they're coming out with their own versions of downloadable maps. If you've used local government web applications with their varying degrees of logic, thin interfaces, and paucity of desirable features (yes, implacable NYC transit pdf, I mean you) you'll empathize with my wish they'd leave this guy alone and be happy if his development boosts ridership.

4) In what I find appropriate reactions to the current oil and gas situation, as opposed to harmful, knee-jerk legislative fiats that make things worse and not just in the short-term, airlines are cutting flights and Oklahoma is asking Congress to streamline bureaucracy so they can build a new refinery.

5) I haven't yet decided how I feel about the promised Singularity, Ray Kurzweil's much buzzed and blogged-about moment when human technological progress transcends biology, representing an irrevocable rupture in human history. However, it definitely seems that things like these biological robots that can build themselves and correct their mistakes keep stepping closer toward that horizon.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Against Hypersensitivity not Religion


From the Agricultural Department of my home state. To all the pigs who've given all they had for my sustenance and well-being, you have my respect and thanks.

Can you explain how banning Piglet on a tissue dispenser, or any ban in fact, demonstrates tolerance? It's just the beginning says Lost Budgie. In fact, here are books considered anti-Muslim in parts of Britain, not because they mention the religion or demean its tenets, but because pigs are present: The Three Little Pigs, Charlottes Web, Babe - The Sheep-pig, Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, Olivia Saves the Circus, Animal Farm. This isn't a new trend either. Some years ago, a collection of porcelain pigs was forcibly seized from a British woman's front room window sill while she was threatened with prosecution.

I'd never stop you from creating or displaying an image oppositional, even hostile, to my faith though I might comment if I found it uncreative or bad art. I don't get the vapors at the mere sight of something against my preferences or beliefs. That intestinal fortitude is implicit in civility, maturity, and sanity.

Not because I want to "piss off Moslems", but because sane people have to defy the histrionic who insist that their emotional grievances should trump logic, liberty, and law, I'm showing my pig!