Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Dirty World of Obese, Necrophilac Carnivores

I guess a necrophiliac carnivore would be a scavenger. Here's a convention of 'em.

So often, it's a greedy criminal that gets caught. That's why I try to alternate my post thefts enough to lull suspicion. That said, it's been so long since I've stolen from Althouse, that today she gets a perfecta.

1) First and creepiest via Althouse (lovely Ed Gein poem in the comments thread): twin freaks and a friend bought jimmy hats at Wal-Mart and then headed to the cemetery intending to follow-up with biblical knowledge of a departed 2o year-old with a super cute obit picture. I agree with the commenters in not being sure that the identity of their proposed victim is essential to publish. On the other hand, I think these guys should be known and mocked by everyone in their town until they move to a where more enlightened about implied sexual consent of the deceased. Bonus link to Smoking Gun mugshots. (I hate to make snap judgements, but does it look to you like someone has a "Goth issue"?)

2) Althouse finally echoes the question I've been asking for years: When a person's become morbidly obese enough to be incapacitated from normal movement and a shut-in, how do they keep getting the ginormous quantities of food required to maintain their hugeness?! She's essentially asking why a giant man needs surgery when, if his family would just play daily keep-away with a veggie Hoagie, he'd get enough exercise and caloric reduction to make a big difference to his health and mobility. Once again, from the comments section, are revealed the role of spineless or equally dysfunctional enablers (the kind who always congratulate themselves on being so nice) who see this man dying before them and still can't say no. I'd say no plenty, just to get out of the bedpan duty.

3) If the previous stories haven't stifled your appetite, here's an interesting proposal from Slate's William Saletan. In order to avoid the moral and health hazards of being hungry carnivores, why can't we start growing steaks in the lab? Clean, predictable protein without the cruelty downside? I haven't thought through all the implications, but I'm having fun with the question. One step for animal rights and another toward Trek food replicators.

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