Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Yay Gabriel and Parrots, Boo Lightning and Zombie Dogs

I'm a jerk while on deadline, and although this one is self-imposed and unpaid, it's still real enough to make me snippy. So briefly...

1) Lately, I've been Afrocentric which I promise to reduce for variety's sake-after this one last thing. I applaud Peter Gabriel's efforts to organize a concert of actual African musicians near the Eden greenhouses in southwest England. Both supportive of and endorsed by Live 8, Gabriel nonetheless jibes Geldof as "the pope" and "Chairman Bob" and calls for address of African corruption as well as poverty.

“What I would like to see is pressure on the ICC (International Criminal Court) to include corruption in its remit,” he said. He also called for a system of registering complaints of corruption made by African citizens against leaders and logging any investigations that are launched. “I would love to see more African-generated initiatives highlighted, because by putting us (in the West) once again in a position of power, there is a subtext which may castrate African initiatives,” he said.

As one starring musician, Ayub Ogada of Kenya, puts it: “With this Eden concert we have a chance to take part. A lot of the times we are left out. Throughout our life outsiders have told us what we need, and no one has ever asked us.”

2) This foul-mouthed parrot screamed her owner awake to escape his burning home. "Green-cheeked Amazon Sweetie Pie, who speaks with a strong Scottish accent, usually mutters a string of obscenities, including 'f *** off', 'get tae f *** ' and 'you're a b ***** d'."

3) Being struck by lightning is still rare and the consequences are still misunderstood, even by keraunopathologists, specialists in post-electrocution syndrome. Here are fascinating survivors and their stories. For example, we learn that "lightning can flash over the outside of a victim, sometimes blowing off clothes without leaving so much as a mark on the skin." Mark this, collegians, you don't have to admit to the X or tequila shooters. Tell everyone you were struck naked by an act of God.

4) I further learned today that in Anglo countries like England and Australia, research scientists are called boffins, which is a splendid title I will begin using immediately. But that's not nearly all. Some Steel Town boffins have found a way to reanimate a dog after hours of clinical death by replacing its blood with cold saline solution and restarting its vital engines with an electric shock. This is supposed to evetually save people with injuries causing tremendous blood loss, but the idea of the intentional zombie is still SUPER CREEPY! Non?

Thanks to McMudge of Huffington's Toast.


April said...

Good lord, I really want some audio of the foul mouthed, life saving, wife hating, scottish accented parrot. Something about Scotland just gets me....

The last couple of Fridays this great hulking Scottish lad with pink and blonde and black dyed hair and kilt and boots has been showing up at my office to speak to my boss. I call him the "kilty guy", and both me and the gay receptionist think he's a looker. Yay! Keep on coming back, Kilty Guy!

April said...

Oh, BTW..the re-animated dog thing ...I recall hearing about it when I was a kid. And they do it with people who fall through ice, all the time.