My Own Monkey Tuesday

Image borrowed from Penn Jillette's site, where I hope tomorrow there'll be posted a new episode of his often intoxicatingly amusing feature, Monkey Tuesday.

I'm back from the New England Crime Bake. I did have fun, although the drive to Lowell, MA from NYC took 5 1/2 hours and two almost accidents: a chain-reaction rear collision before a tunnel in Connecticut which concluded with the car in front of me, and a tire blow-out and subsequent spin-out onto the shoulder and into the opposite direction just two car-lengths ahead of me. For some reason, that whole trip was marked by high-speed traffic suddenly accreting and slamming on the brakes. It was unsettling and scary, again and again. By the time I arrived, almost late for my first session, the muscles running down my neck and into my shoulders were tighter than piano wires. However, the trip back only took 3 1/2 hours, and other than some rain, was pleasant and relatively stress-free.

I'm still hammering out the last dimples in this last painful bit of manuscript editing. I don't know why I bother to feel that way, as if it's a real finish line. Should somebody want to print the thing, I'll have to go through this all again with an editor. Fortunately, there's always something more interesting than my pathetic self to discuss.

1) Like this story-
Under New South Wales state law, if a car owner signs a sworn statement that they were not driving the vehicle when an offense was committed, they can avoid paying speed camera fines, which arrive by mail, and parking tickets left under windshield wipers.

238 fine Australians have blamed the same two guys by name, one of them deceased. Conclusion: We're only asking for trouble if we don't buy zombies their own cars. Imagine the messy residue they must leave on borrowed seats.

2) From the Magistrate's Blog, a list of unacceptable language in the workplace, which, in addition to lots of other epithets including "British" (?!), also discourages specification of age and usually gender. I hope this catches on, so if one's workplace happens to be a medical practice with an obstetrician, pediatrician, and gerontologist, you can happily categorize patients as "broads, geezers, and ankle-biters" which aren't specifically discouraged.

3) Via apostropher, don't go to this site unless you want to see awful pictures and read horrible accounts of the wounds inflicted by pet monkeys.